The Price You Pay
by Broedy
Summary: Nate and Beth wait to hear Eli's prognosis. Post episode 209.
1. Chapter 1

**The Price You Pay**

Beth rushed through the doors of the emergency room, her eyes frantically searching for Nate. He couldn't help it – he felt an overwhelming sense of relief when he saw her and could only stand there watching mutely until she found him.

"Nate?" She hesitated only briefly, her expression full of worry, before enveloping him in a hug.

He clung to her for a moment, allowing himself to be comforted by her familiar embrace, before he reluctantly pulled away.

"Have you heard anything?" Beth asked. Her round, dark eyes were searching his face, causing a flash of jealousy that he tried to push deep down.

Nate's voice was rough with emotion. "Ah, they're running some tests. I'm waiting to hear."

"What happened?"

He cringed involuntarily when he was forced to remember. "We were arguing. I said something… I said the one thing I knew would hurt him the most. And then he was bleeding. I don't know…"

Beth clasped a hand under his elbow and lowered him into a waiting chair. It was only then Nate felt that his legs had turned to jelly. He found it hard to focus his eyes on anything as he thought about the look on Eli's face, until Beth's hand squeezed around his own and forced him to look at her.

"I'm sure he'll be okay," she said reassuringly, though he could hear the fear in her words.

Nate forced himself to keep it together. "Thank you for coming. I didn't have anyone else to call. With Mom away…"

"You don't have to explain." Her eyes dropped to the floor.

"Plus I figured you'd want to know. Be here for Eli," he admitted. He didn't like acknowledging Beth's feelings for his brother but they could not be avoided. They had caused her to call off their wedding, after all.

"I wanted to be here for you."

Nate smirked half heartedly, not believing her. But he wasn't about to get into an argument with her, too. It wasn't the time or the place, and the emotions surrounding their relationship were too raw, too newly decimated.

"Where's Ben?" he asked instead.

"Penny's still staying with me. She's watching him."

"Of course. We were supposed to be…"

"On our honeymoon, yeah."

Nate looked down at her hand which was still curled around his. He didn't know what it meant that she was still wearing her engagement ring. The brief conversations they'd had since Vegas all pointed to the fact that it was over. He sighed to himself. He would worry about it some other time. For now he had to concentrate on Eli.

"I don't know what I'm going to say to our mother," Nate said. "It would have been bad enough her returning from her cruise to find that her eldest son had eloped, but now… If something happens to Eli…"

"He'll be okay," Beth affirmed. "He has to be."

Nate's eyes met hers with a flash of betrayal before he looked away, swallowing hard. He slowly but determinedly pulled his hand out of hers, and ignored the quiet yelp from her when he did so. Nate stared at the admit desk, willing one of the phone calls to be about Eli, or that one of the medical staff emerging from the ER swing doors was going to seek him out to update him on his brother's condition.

Beth sat rigidly beside him and they waited in a painful silence.

0 0 0 0

"When did you know?" he asked quietly when they stood by a vending machine an hour later, waiting for thin, miserable coffee to pour into a waiting paper cup.

Beth looked up after retrieving her beverage and frowned.

"About how you felt about Eli," Nate clarified, his gaze not meeting hers. "I'm trying to work out if I was just being blind or stupid… Because I didn't see it. I thought we were happy."

"We were." She ducked her head guiltily. "I… I don't know when."

"You don't think you owe me an explanation?"

His sharp words caused her to look at him and then wish she hadn't. Beth took a few steps away from him and he thought the conversation was over until she glanced back in his direction, not making eye contact.

"When we reconnected over the trial, it was like I'd known him all my life. I trusted him so completely, and it had been years since I could trust any man. But he was engaged to Taylor and out of the blue I got the invitation to their engagement party. And I met you."

Beth smiled slightly at the remembrance and Nate caught a glimpse from where he stood behind her.

He cleared his throat to cover the longing he felt for her smile. "That part I'm familiar with. I was more interested in later. After I proposed and you said yes. You said you loved me."

"I did," Beth said quickly, turning to face him properly. "I _do_."

Nate turned away, his mouth down turned.

"But I couldn't deny what I was feeling for Eli. After everything he did for Ben and me, for you and me, too… I don't know. I just felt I had to be honest. It wouldn't have been fair to you. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, you did a bang up job there," Nate said, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice or the blaze of anger in his eyes when he looked at her again. He refused to feel bad when Beth's eyes welled with tears.

"Nate, I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen," she said imploringly. "You have to believe me. But I couldn't marry you and wonder if maybe what I was feeling was more than just a leftover crush, that Eli trying to reconnect with me all those months ago when he found out about us wasn't just because he was lonely… I needed to know if he felt anything more for me than a sister-in-law… I had to find out."

"And did you?" Nate asked with difficulty.

Beth blinked, causing two tears to run down her face. "Yes. I asked him, and he said no."

She looked away as she wiped her cheeks, hiding behind one shaking hand. Nate could tell she was trying hard not to cry further. He didn't know how he felt about what she was telling him. He hadn't wanted to hear Eli's side of it – it was easier just to blame him. And Beth. Assign the blame to those responsible for ripping his heart out of his chest and maybe it could be bearable.

But Nate was finding that it wasn't so simple. He couldn't rule a line under the past year and pretend he didn't still love Beth, that he didn't still want to marry her and be a father to Ben. It would be a blessing if he could. Instead the situation was messy and difficult, and he was unsure what would happen. He couldn't even bring himself to contemplate the fact that something might be seriously wrong with Eli… that they might lose him. Nate couldn't deal with that.

"Nate?"

Beth had to repeat his name before he escaped his dark thoughts and looked at her again. She set her coffee down and took a few hesitant steps towards him.

"I'm sorry that this happened. All of it. I ruined everything," she said. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but I do love you. You believe me, right?"

Nate found himself nodding reluctantly, unable to tear his eyes away from hers.

"Is there any way we can try and get past this?"

His breathing grew quicker as he fought against a rush of emotions. "I won't be a consolation prize, Beth. I don't deserve that."

"You're not. You're the best man I've ever known and I don't want to lose you. I'm so sorry I hurt you…"

Beth placed a hand on his chest, her tearful gaze boring into his as he felt all of his resolve crumble.

"Nate, I love you."

They both heard a throat being cleared and turned to see a nurse standing a few feet away.

"Dr. Stone? Dr. Thomson has your brother's results. If you'd like to come with me I'll take you through."

Nate glanced at Beth, panicked, before he reluctantly nodded and followed the nurse. He didn't look back.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Price You Pay  
**

Nate followed the nurse into the ER examination area where Eli's doctor was writing in a chart and giving out treatment orders to another member of staff. He waited impatiently until she was finished talking, then stepped forward into her line of vision before she could be distracted by another chart which she'd been handed.

"Are you Dr. Stone? Rachel Thomson, I treated your brother this evening." She offered him a cool, slim hand which Nate shook quickly.

"How is he?"

Dr. Thomson seemed to understand his abruptness and ushered him down a corridor, filling him in as they walked.

"It's good news. Our tests reveal the aneurysm didn't rupture. We had his last scan sent over from St. Vincent's and ours shows no bleeding."

Nate felt a wash of relief and could only nod in response. He didn't trust his voice.

"However his blood pressure was extremely high which explains the bleeding and dizziness. We're treating him with ACE Inhibitors and his BP's improving. So far the blood work and ECG have revealed no underlying cause for the hypertension, but we'll monitor him closely overnight. His LOC was minimal, I understand?"

Nate nodded again. "No more than a minute. Can I see the MRI?"

Dr. Thomson's eyes narrowed slightly before she agreed to have a copy brought down for him. "But like I said, the aneurysm is intact."

"Are you going to recommend an angiogram?"

She paused outside an examination room and met his gaze. "Not unless there's a subsequent bleed. Dr. Stone, apart from the aneurysm your brother is in good health. The hypertension is likely caused by stress. He mentioned he's been feeling more pressure than usual lately. I've explained to him the importance of reducing stress in his lifestyle, particularly because of his condition. I'd recommend his regular doctor putting him on a regular course of BP meds."

Nate was reluctant to accept an explanation so pedestrian after expecting to hear the worst. It didn't help that he knew he was the biggest cause of Eli's recent stress.

"I'll take care of it," he said.

"Good. You can see him for a few minutes – they'll be admitting him upstairs soon." She opened the door to the exam room and pointed. "He's at the end there."

"Thank you, Dr. Thomson." This time Nate stuck out his hand and was more sincere in shaking hers. She was gone with a brief smile.

Nate walked slowly into the room so as not to disturb the other patients and medical staff. He paused before pulling back the curtain around Eli's bed, taking in a few deep breaths. The doctor said he was okay, Nate reminded himself. He took a step forward.

Eli was lying on the hospital bed attached to a few different monitors and a drip. His eyes were closed and his face was still drained of some color, but he looked better than he had earlier that evening. Nate quickly took in all the equipment readings to reassure himself that Dr. Thomson wasn't lying. Eli's blood pressure was still high but everything else looked normal.

"Hey," Eli whispered.

Nate's eyes shifted immediately to his brother's face. "Hey. I thought you were sleeping."

He didn't know what else to say so he squeezed his brother's hand instead. Eli smiled wanly and gripped back.

"Eli…" he choked out.

"I'm okay, Nate. The doctor filled me in."

Nate shook his head, then his words came out in a rush. "This shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have said what I did, about you being worse than Dad. I didn't mean it."

"It's okay."

"I know Beth calling the wedding off wasn't your fault. I was just so angry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm so sorry, Eli."

Eli waved his other hand dismissively. It fell back onto the bed and Nate could see how exhausted – and medicated – he was.

"Will you stop?" Eli asked.

Nate snorted softly. He was relieved to hear the familiar inflection in Eli's voice. He pressed his palm against Eli's head and mussed his hair slightly. On cue, Eli protested just like he always had growing up.

"You should get some rest," said Nate, feeling a little more relaxed. "I'm gonna be back first thing in the morning."

"Why can't I go home? Or stay with you? You're a doctor – can't they release me to your care?"

"They want to monitor your blood pressure overnight. No arguments," Nate said when he opened his mouth to protest.

Eli let out a frustrated breath but didn't have the energy to state his case. "Don't tell Mom," he said instead. "You didn't try and get in touch with her, did you?"

"Don't worry, I didn't call. I didn't want to worry her if it wasn't…" Nate didn't finish his sentence. They were both thinking about the aneurysm rupturing. "But Beth is waiting outside so I'd better let her know you're okay."

"You called Beth?" Eli asked, surprised.

Nate knew he was caught and averted his eyes. "Yeah."

"Does this mean…? Are you two…?"

"No," Nate replied.

Eli couldn't hide his disappointment which Nate chose to ignore.

"Get some sleep, Eli."

His eyes closed dutifully before he nodded slightly. Nate waited for a few minutes before he pressed a kiss on top of Eli's head.

0 0 0 0

Nate was distracted as he sat in the cab on his way home. Beth had offered to drive him but he'd refused. He wasn't ready to talk to her about anything, and after assuring her that Eli was okay, he made a quick escape. He knew it hurt her when he said no, and wasn't proud of the fact he felt a little glad that it did.

He was overwhelmed with relief that Eli's collapse had not been caused by the aneurysm. But he'd had too many dark thoughts about losing him not to obsess over what had happened. Nate knew stress could cause high blood pressure which could cause Eli's symptoms, and he knew his accusations during their argument that evening were the trigger. He'd been so consumed with his own pain since Vegas that he hadn't seen what the situation had done to Eli as well.

Nate didn't want to be alone. It took every ounce of strength not to turn the cab around and go to Beth's place. His place too, or at least it had been until a week ago. It was only a matter of timing that he still had his apartment – it was being subleased in a month. Nate considered canceling on the new tenant but really didn't know if he wanted to stay there anymore. It felt strange going back when he was supposed to be starting a new life with Beth and Ben.

He knew he definitely did not want to be going home to his apartment now, and on a whim told the cab driver to head to Chinatown instead. It was late but he suspected Frank would still be up. He didn't bother calling ahead and was soon banging on the door to his clinic.

If Frank was surprised to see him he didn't say anything. But he was soon frowning in concern when Nate filled him in on what had happened to Eli.

"It was my fault," Nate lamented as Frank handed him a beer and took a seat. "I blamed him for everything and it could have given him a stroke."

Nate recounted in painful detail their fight while Frank listened without comment. Nate had finished his beer before he realized Frank has said nothing at all since hearing that Eli was in the hospital. He wondered if he was even paying attention, as he sat staring off into the distance.

"Hello? Frank?" Nate said, a little annoyed. "You said you were going to look at my Dad's journal for any mention of what happens to me. Was there anything about Eli's health?"

It took a moment for Frank to refocus his eyes on Nate. He shook his head. "I don't need to check the journal."

"What do you mean?"

"Nurhachi," Frank said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"I know what caused this."

Nate frowned. "What?"

Frank's eyes flashed with reluctance before he started speaking, while Nate grew increasingly impatient.

"It's called the Dark Truth," he said cryptically.

"What is?"

"The acupuncture treatment that caused Eli's vision of your wedding day. The one he didn't tell you about." Frank quickly explained the notion of mental clarity through pain and the side effects it could cause.

"Wait, wait, wait," Nate said, holding up his hand. "You think acupuncture caused Eli's hypertension? Isn't that the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot, career-wise?"

"This is a very different sort of acupuncture. I warned Eli not to mess around with it, but he didn't listen. He had at least one session last week, maybe more, with another acupuncturist. And once with me, a while back."

Nate's eyes blazed. "You performed a dangerous treatment on my brother?"

"He begged me, man. I didn't want to do it. And I refused when he asked again."

But Nate was too angry now. "Why didn't you tell me about this? If Eli was putting himself in danger…"

"Maybe I should have," Frank admitted. "But I think it was something he had to decide for himself."

"It could have killed him, Frank! If the aneurysm had ruptured he could be dead or a vegetable right now."

"I know." His shoulders sagged.

Nate didn't know what else to say. He was still mad at Eli for not telling him about the vision, and now it appeared his brother had forced it on himself. Nate stood up abruptly. Frank wanted to talk about it some more, to try and explain what Eli had been attempting to do, but he didn't want to hear it. The clinic door slammed loudly behind him as Nate stalked out into the late night air, still fuming.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Price You Pay**

The next morning when he arrived at the hospital, Nate found Eli sitting up in bed looking considerably better. He'd already cornered his doctor outside and discovered that his blood pressure was coming down as hoped, and he would be released that morning. Reassured that his condition was stable, Nate felt no guilt in confronting him.

Eli looked up from the Jell-O cup he was consuming and smiled in greeting, but Nate said nothing as he snatched the container out of his brother's hand.

"Hey!" Eli protested.

"You're a dumb ass, you know that?" Nate thundered.

"Well, hello to you too, Nathan. I'm feeling much better, thanks for asking."

Nate held up a finger in warning. "No. You get no niceties from me this morning. Not when I find out it's your own fault you're in here."

"You know, your bedside manner's getting a little rusty," Eli said. "What are you talking about?"

"Do the words 'Dark Truth' ring a bell? Frank told me all about your little dabble in the dark side of acupuncture." Nate stared at him, hard, until Eli had the sense to drop his gaze. "How could you, you… you ignoramus? You must have known you were putting yourself in danger. You have an aneurysm, for God's sake."

"It was a risk I had to take," Eli replied in a low voice.

"Why? So you could see that Beth was going to dump me? What good could possibly come of that, considering you didn't even tell me so I could've spoken to her about it?"

"I was trying to work out how to stop it, Nate. I _did_ stop it, the part I could control anyway."

"Eli, you may have been trying to do what was best for me, but endangering yourself in the process is so ludicrously counter-productive. Can't you see that?"

Eli looked sheepish. "Well, to be fair, the first time I went to Dr. Lee I was trying to find out about my love life, not yours."

Nate hadn't expected that and smiled despite himself, his anger draining rapidly. Eli returned the grin, then slowly grew more solemn.

"I did it because you and Beth belong together, Nate," he said. "I had to try and fix it."

Nate shook his head slightly. "It's not your job to fix our relationship, little brother. It was ours. And in this case there's nothing to fix. Beth loves you, and that's all there is to it."

"Maybe, but she's _in_ love with you. And as much as I care about her, I don't love her that way. She knows that."

Nate paused, his eyes dropping to his feet. "It's not that simple."

"Yes, it is. You have to talk to her."

"Eli…"

"I'm serious, Nate. Don't let your pride get in the way of your happiness. Or Beth and Ben's happiness. They belong with you, I know it."

Nate crossed his arms. He wanted to believe it, as if it were that easy. "Don't tell me, you had another vision," he said derisively.

"I don't need to have a vision to tell me you should be together. You're a family. Anyone can see it."

"Except Beth," Nate said with a sad smile. "How can I blame her for loving you, Eli? You've always been better than me at just about everything. And I accept that."

Eli's head tilted to the side as his eyes narrowed. "Oh please, that's not true. That's never been true. I'm not the good guy you think I am. No good guy is envious when his brother gets engaged because he's afraid he'll end up alone."

"A selfless decision you made when you asked for the aneurysm back."

"It was the right decision. And I'd make it again in a heartbeat." Eli's mouth curled in a warm smile. "You're the one who gets the girl, Nate. You have to forgive her. You have to trust the fact that she loves you, and not be afraid."

"I don't think I know how," Nate murmured after a moment. "After everything that's happened, I don't know how to be with her again."

"Can I make a suggestion? Start at the beginning."

Nate contemplated this as he took in the sincerity of Eli's words. He wasn't exactly negating the better man theory. "I'll consider it only if you promise me you won't do this Dark Truth thing again, Eli. It's too dangerous."

"I promise," Eli said after only a brief pause to show he meant it.

"Good."

"Can I have my Jell-O back now?"

Nate considered withholding it, then eventually handed it over. Eli gave him a look before eating another large spoonful.

"Where did you get that at this time of morning?" Nate asked with a laugh.

Eli, his mouth still full, was about to answer when there was a faint knock on the open door. He swallowed the Jell-O with a gulp when he saw who was there.

"Maggie," he said, wide-eyed like she was an apparition.

"Hi." She tried to smile but both men could see the worry in her eyes. "I called the office… I, ah, wanted to talk to you… and Patti told me you were here."

Nate looked at his brother whose gaze was fixed on Maggie. He leaned away from the bed so as not to come between them.

"Are you… are you okay?" she asked, her voice catching in her throat.

"I'm fine. It's nothing to worry about," Eli replied. When he smiled she let out a relieved breath and returned the expression.

"You know what, I forgot to check something with your doctor," Nate said cautiously when neither of them had spoken for several moments. "Eli, I'll check in with you later."

Eli glanced at him but didn't respond. Nate smiled at Maggie when he passed her but she didn't say anything either. As he left the room, Nate looked back briefly as she walked towards Eli. He didn't linger so as not to eavesdrop. But he wondered if Maggie had a little something to do with Eli not having feelings for Beth. He wondered if Eli even knew himself.

He wandered into the corridor. There was no sign of Eli's doctor at the nurses' station where he'd spoken with him earlier, but there wasn't much else he could talk to him about anyway. They'd given Eli a battery of tests which had all come back normal, so Nate was assured that there was no other sinister cause of his collapse.

He had decided to tempt fate and try the cafeteria's coffee when he saw Frank walking towards him. His steps slowed and his face was wary but Nate smiled faintly.

"Frank."

"Nate," he said evenly. "I wanted to check in on Eli."

"He's fine," Nate replied. There was no animosity in his voice. He couldn't blame Frank for Eli's poor decision making. "They're letting him out soon."

"Oh. That's good. I'm glad." He glanced away.

"Listen, Frank, I'm sorry about last night. I was worried about Eli…"

"It's okay. I know."

"I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's just with everything that's been going on…"

"Nate, don't worry about it."

Nate smiled again, relieved. "We're good?"

Frank grinned. "Yeah, we're good." He looked past him down the corridor. "Is that Eli's room on the right? I owe him an 'I told you so'."

"Yeah, it is. But you might need to wait a while. He has a visitor."

Frank didn't miss the glint in Nate's eyes. "Really? Who is it?"

"What does the journal say?" Nate countered. He smiled when Frank pressed his lips together purposely. "You already know, don't you?"

"Maybe."

The expression faded from Nate's lips. "Did you read something like that about anyone else?"

"Maybe," Frank replied more seriously.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

Frank shook his head. "The future is always changing, Nate. You have more control over it than you think. You don't need a line in your Dad's journal to tell you what you already know."

Nate exhaled, half relieved, half frustrated. "Nothing's simple, is it?"

"Not the important stuff."

He knew he wasn't going to get the answer handed to him. Nate decided to let it go for now. Whatever was going to happen, it wouldn't be that day. Eli was coming home, healthy, and for now that was all he wanted to concentrate on.

"Come on, I'll buy you a cup of crappy coffee." Nate said.

0 0 0 0

He waited for three weeks. Nate worked every day on his building, readying his new medical practice. He was a frequent visitor to Eli's of an evening, even after he'd returned to work. Nate would take a blood pressure reading before reminding him to take his medication. He had the occasional beer with Frank when Eli hinted that he didn't need babysitting.

During that time Nate spoke to Beth on the phone only once. She'd accepted the fact he wanted some time and space, and didn't argue when he said he didn't know if he could get past what had happened. She hadn't brought up the subject of Ben even though she must have known how much Nate missed him. He liked to think it was because she didn't want to hurt him further.

He waited for three weeks and then he was standing outside her front door. He contemplated waiting longer, to go over the situation a few more thousand times in his head, but instead he rang her doorbell.

Beth's mouth formed an 'o' when she opened the door to him.

"Nate…"

"Hi," he said. It was hard to not break into an automatic smile when he saw her but he managed to remain composed.

Beth took a step forward. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine." Nate felt the twinge of jealousy he knew he would, but he ignored it. "Eli's back at work, he's okay."

Beth looked embarrassed which helped a little. Then she just looked confused as to why he was there.

"I was hoping we could talk… about us," Nate said hesitantly.

"I'd like that," she replied with a faint, hopeful smile.

He held up the bag in his hand. "I brought buffalo wings. From… you know, the bar."

Beth's smile was more pronounced as she opened the door wider to let him in.

FIN


End file.
